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  • The Inside Work: 8 Mindset Shifts That Ended My Self-Abandonment

    This is for you if you’re tired of betraying your own needs, ignoring your own voice, and staying small to stay safe.

    I want to walk you through the 8 mindset shifts that helped me stop abandoning myself — and start living with self-respect, inner loyalty, and peace.

    🔁 SHIFT 1: “Performing is not love.”

    I used to think I had to earn everything — care, attention, even being heard.

    But performing isn’t connection.
    Pleasing isn’t bonding.
    Performing is a survival strategy — not a self.

    I began to whisper to myself: I don’t need to perform to belong. I am enough, even still.

    🪞 SHIFT 2: “Self-respect > self-improvement.”

    We live in a world that wants to fix us.
    Constant improvement. Constant becoming.

    But self-respect is more radical than self-help.
    I started asking: What if I don’t need to upgrade — what if I need to honor?

    I stopped chasing perfection and started practicing presence.
    And it changed everything.

    🚫 SHIFT 3: “Boundaries are not mean.”

    I used to think setting a boundary would make me difficult, selfish, or cold.

    But abandoning myself to keep peace only created resentment — and exhaustion.

    Now I believe: A boundary is an act of clarity, not cruelty.

    If someone leaves because I’m clear, they were never safe to begin with.

    🌬 SHIFT 4: “Rest is not optional.”

    When I was burnt out, I used to push through — thinking rest was something I had to earn.

    Now I know: Rest is the foundation. Not the reward.

    If I wait until I’m “done” to rest… I never will.

    Now, rest comes first.
    Because I come first.

    🧭 SHIFT 5: “I am the source.”

    No one else can give me permission to matter.
    No one else can validate me enough to heal the ache.

    I had to stop outsourcing my sense of worth.

    Now I tell myself: I am the source. Of peace. Of power. Of enough-ness.

    Support is beautiful. But I stopped waiting for someone to rescue me from my own self-abandonment.

    🧊 SHIFT 6: “Numb isn’t failure — it’s protection.”

    There were days I couldn’t feel joy, love, or hope. I thought something was wrong with me.

    But numbness isn’t the absence of feeling — it’s the overflow.
    It’s your nervous system saying: This is too much right now.

    Instead of shaming it, I began listening.
    And slowly, my body trusted me again.

    🔥 SHIFT 7: “I can be messy and still matter.”

    I thought I had to heal perfectly.
    Be lovable and wise and untriggered.

    But the truth is: I’m still lovable when I’m raw. Still worthy when I’m angry. Still enough when I’m grieving.

    Now I tell myself: My humanity is not a liability. It’s my power.

    💌 SHIFT 8: “I don’t have to prove my pain to be believed.”

    I used to over-explain my wounds.
    Tell every detail. Try to get people to understand.

    But I’ve learned: I don’t owe anyone a performance of my pain in order to deserve care.

    My story is sacred.
    And I choose who gets to hear it — and who doesn’t.

    These 8 shifts didn’t happen overnight.
    They came from heartbreak, healing, and finally choosing myself — over and over again.

    But if you heard something in here that felt like home — even for a moment —
    know this:

    You are allowed to stop abandoning yourself now.
    You are allowed to build a life around inner loyalty.
    You are allowed to begin again.


    The inner work continues.

  • It’s all a LIE ! = The Ultimate Self-Worth Hack

    The Ultimate Self-Worth Hack: If It’s All a Lie, Pick a Better One

    What if everything you believe about yourself is a lie?

    That sounds dramatic. But hear it out.

    You were never born thinking you’re not good enough. You didn’t come into this world ashamed of your body, afraid of being broke, or convinced that you had to earn your place through performance.
    You learned all of that.

    Which means… it’s not truth.
    It’s just repetition.

    And here’s the twist that no one teaches us growing up:
    👉 If all of this is a lie — you get to pick a better one.

    🔁 When Affirmations Feel Fake

    If you’ve ever tried to say “I am worthy” in the mirror and felt like you were choking on your own words — welcome. You’re not broken. You’re just smart enough to notice that your nervous system isn’t buying it.

    But here’s what no one tells you:

    „I’m unworthy“ is also a lie.
    „I’ll never have money“ is also a lie.
    „No one loves me“ — yep. Another lie.

    So when people say, “But affirmations don’t work — they feel like lies”, my answer is:

    Of course they feel like lies. So does your current belief system.

    The difference?
    One of those lies makes you feel like trash.
    The other opens doors.

    🧠 Hack It Like This: Pick a Lie That Heals

    Your brain isn’t searching for the absolute truth.
    It’s scanning for what keeps you emotionally safe.
    That’s how trauma and rejection wire in.

    So when you choose new thoughts, you’re not gaslighting yourself — you’re reclaiming your authority.
    You’re saying:

    “If none of these stories are 100% real,
    I get to choose the one that helps me breathe again.”

    Here are a few “better lies” to try on:

    • “What if money wants to support me?”
    • “What if I’m already worthy, even when I do nothing?”
    • “What if my body is already lovable, not just fixable?”
    • “What if I don’t need to fix myself to have love, ease, clients, peace?”

    They may not feel true yet — but they also don’t carry shame.

    🔧 Another Hack: If You Can’t Shift Your Mindset, Shift Your Reality

    Sometimes, the thoughts won’t budge.
    You’ve journaled, meditated, affirmed — and still feel stuck in the same loop.

    That’s when you don’t need another mantra.
    You need a momentum shift.

    Because here’s the other self-worth hack no one teaches:

    💥 If you can’t change how you feel about something…
    It’s time to change something.

    Change the room.
    Change the routine.
    Change the people you’re talking to.
    Change your pricing.
    Change what you’re tolerating.
    Change your story by acting it out — not overthinking it.

    🔑 Bottom Line

    You don’t need to convince yourself you’re a whole new person overnight.
    But you can choose a better lens. A better “lie.”
    A new angle that doesn’t drag you back into self-doubt and shame.

    Because if everything is a story —
    why not write a kinder one?

    Life will still be messy.
    But you’ll be so much freer in it.

    Life isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about finally backing yourself.
    Now go pick a better story — and live like it’s true.

  • Burnout doesn’t mean failure — it means you care.

    🌿 Affirmations for Burnout & Emotional Recovery

    1. Burnout doesn’t mean failure — it means I care deeply.
    2. My exhaustion is valid. My worth is not in question.
    3. I don’t have to earn rest — I deserve it by being alive.
    4. Even now, I am still enough.
    5. Slowness is sacred. Healing takes the time it takes.
    6. I am allowed to pause without apologizing.
    7. My value is not tied to my productivity.
    8. I am not behind. I am becoming.
    9. This exhaustion is not weakness — it’s a signal.
    10. Rest is not quitting. It is how I return stronger.
    11. I honor my body’s wisdom when it says: “not today.”
    12. Gentleness is my medicine now. Not pressure.
    13. I can hold compassion for who I am right now.
    14. Burnout is a message, not a moral failing.
    15. Doing less is not giving up — it’s choosing wisely.
    16. I can stop. I can soften. I can be.
    17. Even in stillness, I am growing.
    18. My needs matter — they always did.
    19. I am not a machine. I am a human, and I am allowed to tend to myself.
    20. My energy will return. Until then, I give myself peace.
    21. I don’t have to achieve anything to deserve existence.
    22. I’m not wrong for being tired.
    23. I’m allowed to live slowly and still move forward.

  • 8 Mindset Shifts To Rewire Your Inner World : FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. Now.

    Shift 1: I Am Not Broken. I Was Programmed. You were not born doubting your worth. Somewhere along the way, someone made you believe you had to earn love. That was programming. And what is programmed can be reprogrammed. You don’t need fixing. You need remembering.

    Shift 2: I Don’t Owe Anyone Access to Me. Boundaries aren’t walls. They are invitations to meet you with respect. Every time you withhold access from what drains you, you restore energy to what builds you. Self-trust begins at the gate.

    Shift 3: My Past Is a Reference, Not a Destiny. You are not doomed to repeat old patterns. You’re allowed to pause. To choose again. To interrupt the cycle. Your history might explain you, but it doesn’t define you. You do.

    Shift 4: I Can Be Disliked and Still Be Safe. Approval is addictive when survival depended on it. But safety built on self-abandonment isn’t safety at all. Real security comes from knowing that your value doesn’t fluctuate based on someone else’s mood.

    Shift 5: I Am Allowed to Take Up Space Without Explaining Myself. You don’t have to shrink to be lovable. You don’t have to over-explain to be understood. Your presence is not a problem. You are not a disruption. You are a force.

    Shift 6: Rest Is Not Laziness. It’s Repair. You don’t need to earn rest. You don’t need to justify softness. Your nervous system is not designed to live in permanent overdrive. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop.

    Shift 7: I Am Allowed to Want More. Wanting more doesn’t make you ungrateful. Wanting money doesn’t make you greedy. Wanting love doesn’t make you needy. It makes you human. Desire is the language of growth.

    Shift 8: I Can Start Again, As Many Times As I Need. Healing is not linear. Confidence is not constant. You are not behind. You are living. You are evolving. You are allowed to begin again—even if that means beginning at rest, not hustle.

  • Calmness attracts what You’re chasing

    The next time you find someone attractive – focus on what really makes them attractive to you.

    • Movie villains
    • Cats and other predators
    • „Real life“ concensus reality people
    • Some coach chilling out in Bali with their alleged 6-7 figure a month income

    What do they all have in common? (Or at the least: they look as if they do?)

    Calmness.

    Being calm and relaxed isn’t “lazy,” “unserious,” or “unrealistic.”
    It’s magnetic.

    The online world glorifies grinding, urgency, and fear-based productivity.

    DO DO DO – MAKE MAKE MAKE – DECIDE NOW !!!! – so you can get… where exactly?… To some hypothetical state where everything is going to be „okay“ for 5 seconds.

    But when it comes to attracting what you truly want — money, health, happiness, freedom, good work, good clients, aligned opportunities, or healing relationships —

    Urgency repels.
    Calm receives.

    Here’s why.

    1. Your nervous system is the gatekeeper of your reality.

    You don’t manifest with your thoughts alone.
    You magnetize with your state — your nervous system tone.

    If you’re constantly tense, doubting, or chasing from a place of “lack,” your whole body signals:

    “I’m not ready. I don’t trust. I’m not safe yet.”

    Calmness, on the other hand, tells your system:

    “It’s already happening. I’m grounded. I can hold what I asked for.”

    And the world — opportunities, money, people — responds to that regulation like bees to nectar.


    2. When you’re relaxed, you make clearer decisions.

    Calm people aren’t passive.
    They’re precise.

    They don’t WASTE ENERGY fidgeting around all day.

    They do the one thing that matters. Calmly.

    The one thing that moves the needle.

    And then they f’ing relax.

    A regulated state helps you:

    • Notice what’s aligned and what’s fake
    • Say no to shiny traps
    • Speak with clarity (not convincing energy)
    • Spot synchronicities you’d miss when stressed

    This is why people often say “things just started clicking” when they stopped obsessing.

    They could finally see.


    3. Calmness is coherence. And coherence creates trust.

    People don’t hire you, date you, or follow you because you’re “perfect.”
    They trust what your energy says.

    If your words say: “I’m confident!”
    but your body is screaming “I’m desperate!” —
    they feel the static.

    When you genuinely feel satisfied, trusting, open,
    people sense it. And they want to be near it. Buy from it. Be part of it.

    Calm people draw clients. Calm people get chosen.
    Not because they fake it — but because they believe the outcome is already on its way

    Or: they have experienced the positive outcome SO MANY TIMES that it’s normal to them. What’s out of reach for you and over the top ideal and a dream life fantasy – may be completely NORMAL to another person. (This is where we want to get to.)


    4. You become who you need to be before the goal arrives.

    Here’s the secret:

    You’re not waiting to receive the goal.

    You’re not struggling and chasing and changing yourself so you can FINALLY be good enough..?!?!?!! Hopefully!!!!
    😱

    You’re becoming the version of yourself who already has it.
    😌

    You’re BEING the person now.
    You’re already FEELING the way that person feels.

    That version of you?

    • Isn’t frantic.
    • Doesn’t panic over every dry spell.
    • Doesn’t chase breadcrumbs.

    They create.

    They rest.

    They prepare room for what’s coming.

    So if you want to attract something new — money, support, clients, love —
    ask:

    What would the version of me who already has this feel like today?

    And start feeling that. Even for 5 minutes. Even if it’s awkward at first.

    5. Relaxation = Receptivity. And receptivity is power.

    This isn’t about “letting the universe do all the work.”
    This is about being open enough to let it reach you.

    When you’re clenched in fear or proving mode, nothing can land.
    When you’re relaxed, grounded, and open-hearted?

    Opportunities feel safe to approach you.

    Because you’re already behaving like someone who knows:

    “What’s mine is coming.
    What’s not will pass.
    I don’t need to force anything real.”

    🌿 How to apply this in real life

    Don’t just visualize the life you want.
    Embody the feeling of already living it.

    That’s not delusion.

    That’s energetic alignment.

    It’s not about lying to yourself — it’s about creating an inner environment that’s fertile for what you asked for.

    So the next time you want to force something to happen…
    Pause.
    Breathe.
    And ask:

    If it were already done — how would I feel today?

    Start there.
    That’s where the attraction begins.

    And most of all. (!)

    Very important:

    Once you align your energy and your emotions with the place where you want to be: you won’t feel so NEEDY about your goal anymore.

    You will be able to detach and make sensible, calm decisions that are
    AGAIN

    aligned with your goal.

    And the more you are in a state of alignment with your goal, the more you will be an energetic MATCH for your goal.

    Bottom line: you attract what you are. Not what you want.

    How does this work in relationships?

    Short answer: You date your level of self-esteem.

    This is why I’ve decided to become a self-esteem coach. This is simply the one thing that we need to work on every day in order to live a happy life because it influences EVERYTHING else.

    • your relationships
    • your food choices
    • whether and if you work out
    • the goals and dreams you pursue
    • how you spend every single second of your life every day !

    = The way you see yourself and the way you feel about yourself decides your entire life.

    If you have a low level of self-esteem, you may still not feel OKAY with people who treat you like crap.

    BUT they will feel NORMAL to you. Like „home“. Like how your parents treated you, saw you or themselves.

    The better your self-esteem becomes, the less you will be able to tolerate people who treat you like crap.

    Example on how people get the law of attraction wrong:

    I recently went to a „support“ group for adult children of narcissists – I had been going to this group for years – and one person said: „If you’re a bad person, you will date bad people. If you’re a child-emotionally-, you will only attract predators and nothing else.“

    I say this is factually WRONG, shaming and an abusive comment.

    This is NOT support, especially not for people who grew up in neglectful and abusive environments.

    I left the self-help group after the second time this happened, mostly because the conductor did nothing to counter those shitty comments from a person who obviously has narc fleas. IMO they should have removed that person, but it’s not my job to decide that, so I left.

    BTW: I don’t tolerate unsafe places or people because that’s not aligned with my level of self-esteem anymore. That doesn’t mean I am ALWAYS safe now. That would be unrealistic.

    It does mean: I don’t expose myself to toxic people and environments anymore – if I can avoid it.

    I don’t blame myself anymore when another person f’s up.

    I used to be an expert on how to blame myself for everything.

    Not anymore. I am unlearning that.

    Bottom line?

    ❤️ Love

    You attract, date and tolerate your current level of self-esteem. Period.
    Dating a bad person doesn’t make you a bad person
    — it just shows where your belief in HOW LOVEABLE YOU ARE needs repair.

    💰 Money

    You attract, earn, and allow the amount of money that matches your current level of self-worth.
    Having financial struggles doesn’t make you worthless
    — it just shows where your belief in what you deserve needs repair.

    🤝 Friendships

    You accept, chase, or keep the friendships that reflect how safe and valuable (or unsafe and worthless) you feel inside.
    Being surrounded by draining or one-sided connections doesn’t mean you’re broken
    — it means your boundaries haven’t been taught to guard your worth yet.

    🌠 Dreams & Goals

    You pursue or abandon your dreams based on how worthy you believe you are of fulfillment.
    If you self-sabotage or procrastinate, it’s not laziness
    — it’s unhealed doubt whispering “not for you.”

    Healing your esteem brings your vision back to life!

    What can you do RIGHT NOW

    to become the person that magnetizes a life that reflects a high level of self-esteem?

    1. Take a nap. Sleep for at least 8 hours a night.
    2. Drink more water and eat better. Have enough plant-based protein. Take a high-quality supplement. Take a little bit of extra Vitamin C each day + drink a little more water + have some high-quality magnesium. Big difference.
    3. Move your body to feel joy, not to look good. (Dance to your favorite music or take a walk listening to your fav audio book/podcast.)
    4. Clean up your self-talk.
    5. Replace “Why would anyone pay/love/choose me?” with “Why wouldn’t they?” (Also: Being single is totally excellent. Nothing wrong with that. More time for yourself. Less concensus. More self-aligned action. I love being single.)
    6. Get specific about what you want. Do only that. Forget the rest.
    7. Clarity magnetizes. Vagueness repels.
    8. Speak and move slower.
    9. Embodied confidence signals “I trust myself.”
    10. Raise your minimum standards.
    11. Stop tolerating what drains or confuses you.
    12. Start finishing things.
    13. Completing builds identity — “I’m someone who shows up.”
    14. Mirror the energy you want to receive.
    15. Give the respect, attention, and care you’re asking for.
    16. Declutter what’s outdated.
    17. Say no, unfollow, unsubscribe — make space.
    18. Invest in yourself.
    19. Time, money, energy — your belief leads others to believe.
    20. Stay in environments that reflect your future, not your past.
    21. If the room/job/guy/girl/situation shrinks you, leave it.
      – EVOLUTION MEANS GROWTH.
    22. Act like it’s already working.
      = THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES SELF-EMPLOYMENT WORK.
      This is not about lying to yourself and others.
      This is believing in yourself enough so that you actually DO the work that matters, moves the needle, creates your dream job, creates your dream life, makes the money, makes you free.
      No belief? No results.
    23. Behave like someone who already has momentum — it builds momentum.

    NOW YOU.
    The future’s listening. Live like you mean it. 😌

  • This time, I’m staying.

    I registered this domain years ago.
    Then I let it go.

    At the time, I thought maybe I wasn’t ready.
    Maybe the name didn’t fit.
    Maybe I had imagined too much into it.

    But no one else took it.

    It just sat there — untouched, unchanged —
    like it was waiting.

    Today, I’ve registered it again.
    And this time, it feels different.

    Not like a brand.
    Not like a plan.

    It feels like a message I once sent from the future.
    And now I’ve finally arrived to read it.

    I’m not starting over.
    I’m picking up the thread.