We talk a lot about success.
The 10/10 job. The 10/10 body. The 10/10 vacation. …
We talk a lot about relationships—with partners, friends, colleagues, family. But there’s one relationship that shapes all the others, often overlooked: the one you have with yourself.
When you think about being in a “10/10 relationship” with yourself, it’s not about being flawless or endlessly productive. It’s about building trust, respect, and love with the person you spend every moment of your life with—you.
Here’s how to start.
1. Speak Kindly to Yourself
Imagine being in a relationship where your partner criticized you all day, every day. You wouldn’t call that 10/10. The same goes for your inner dialogue.
- Notice your self-talk.
- Interrupt harsh judgments with gentleness.
- Replace “I’m so bad at this” with “I’m still learning.”
Kindness builds safety—and you deserve to feel safe with yourself.
2. Keep Promises to Yourself
Trust is the foundation of every great relationship. One way to build it with yourself is to follow through on your own commitments.
That doesn’t mean you have to do everything—but if you say you’ll rest, rest. If you say you’ll stretch for 5 minutes, do it.
Each small kept promise tells your inner self: “I can rely on me.”
3. Know Your Needs & Meet Them
A 10/10 partner doesn’t ignore your needs—they honor them. Do the same for yourself.
- Hungry? Eat nourishing food.
- Overstimulated? Step away from the screen.
- Lonely? Call a friend. Help an animal.
- Drained? Take a nap without guilt. Drink more water.
Self-respect comes from listening and responding to what your body, mind, and heart ask for.
4. Celebrate Yourself
Healthy relationships aren’t only about fixing problems—they’re about celebrating wins, big or small. Acknowledge your progress. Toast to the tiny victories. Write down three things you’re proud of each week.
Celebration feeds joy, and joy deepens love.
5. Practice Forgiveness
No relationship is perfect, and neither are you. You’ll miss workouts, snap at people you love, procrastinate, or forget commitments. Instead of punishing yourself, practice forgiveness.
A 10/10 relationship doesn’t mean you never mess up; it means you know how to repair and keep moving forward.
Most importantly: how are you going to forgive others if you don’t even forgive yourself?
6. Date Yourself
Bring intention and fun into your own company. Take yourself out for coffee. Cook a meal just for you. Spend a Saturday/Sunday/day off wandering without an agenda.
The more you enjoy your own presence, the less you’ll seek external validation to fill the gaps.
The Bottom Line
Being in a 10/10 relationship with yourself isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present, honest, compassionate, and committed.
When you show up for yourself the way you’d want a dream partner to, something shifts: every other relationship gets better, too.
Because when you’re rooted in love with yourself, you stop demanding that others fill the spaces only you can fill.
And that’s where real freedom begins.
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